Fifteen again....

First off, would like to say I LOVE YOU GUYS. Thanks for the wonderful comments on my last post. I shall take all advice.

Now.....for the reason I feel fifteen again. I was working this show last night, and was about five feet from the stage.

Jonathan Knight is the oldest member of that boy-band sensation known as New Kids on the Block. I adored them when I was younger. Jon was my favourite because he was the shy, quiet one with the undeniable presence, and a voice like an angel. He shied away from the spotlight, and it was later revealed that he suffered from panic attacks which is why he rarely did one-on-one interviews, both during the bands hey-day and afterwards.

When he came out of the closet, and revealed he was gay, everyone turned to me and said “I told you so.” But to me, it didn’t matter. Why should it? Even if he was straight, the odds of hooking up with him were so incredibly astronomical that it didn’t even bear thinking about. I just wanted him to be happy. When the cameras did capture him, even when smiling, there was a sadness behind his eyes.

I was never sure if he was actually going to go back on tour with the guys. I’d always hoped for at least a solo album from him, but it was never meant to be.

The last time they came through Toronto, I was working backstage, where all five members and their families were constantly walking right by me. But, security tends to be invisible to performers, and Jon didn’t even smile in my direction, although Danny, Donny and Joe did.

To be able to stand in the pit, and actually watch him onstage last night, knowing about his attacks, knowing the courage it must take for him to get up and perform every night, in front of thousands of people, it brought tears to my eyes. The other guys made sure to make him laugh, jostle him around, even causing him to miss a few steps in the tight choreography. They did their best to make him comfortable up there.

It was the most beautiful sight I’d ever seen. And no matter how much people make fun of me, I am always proud to be a Blockhead.

Stay sane inside insanity ~ and never forget your towel.