Wednesday, April 29, 2009

One year ago...

This happened to me.

All sorts of things were supposed to change. I was supposed to lose weight by exersizing and taking better care of my diet.

I was supposed to be happier. Living life to the fullest, and never taking anything for granted again. I was supposed to stress less and enjoy more.

I was supposed to get a move on in my life. Be in a better job doing something I love.

Sad to report, nothing's changed.

I mean, it did for awhile. But once I was allowed to go back to work, reality kicked in HARD. It's tough to plan meals when you're busy. And when you've conditioned yourself to hating exersize, well, old patterns are tough to break.

I'm still stuck in the same dead end job, only now they're piling more crap on top of my usual duties. My boss sits across from me, when he has his own perfectly good office down the hall. I used to have my own office, but they decided that I goof off too much, and maybe they're right. But still...when you get all the work done you have to, and they're still piling more shit on...

I wonder, if the heart attack didn't force me to change my life, what the hell will?

Until I have an answer, I'm still stuck in a rut. And hating every stinking minute of it.

Stay sane inside insanity ~ and never forget your towel.

Monday, April 13, 2009

la tristesse....

Been feeling this way for awhile. No real energy to do anything, or to write. As my life is falling apart, I have to help one of my best friends plan the rest of hers. As maid of honor for her wedding, it's my job to be there for her during the madness that is planning. And I don't feel up to it - I feel like I'll let her down.

I just feel like crawling into a hole and not coming out for a very, very long time.

Image courtesy of

Stay sane inside insanity ~ and never forget your towel.


With love and pride