Still under house arrest

Ok, so that's not completely true. I am ALLOWED to leave the house - I'm just not allowed to do it alone. And legally, I still can't drive until I'm cleared by my cardiologist. At least that's the way I understand it. So, here I sit - surfing, watching tv, and doing light housework until my stress test on June 2. Hardly anyone calls, and no one stops by. I get emails. But that's about it.

I'M BORED. I'm so bored my brain has atrophied into zilch-ness. I read blogs (and I HAVE been reading them guys), but I don't comment. And sometimes the content doesn't even register in my head. I'm going stir crazy, and I can't even come up with a creative sentence or two to describe THAT. I have four stories on the go, including one that I was challenged to by my editor, and I haven't made headway on a single one.

I can't do any heavy lifting, so that leaves out laundry and most housework. I can't walk on my own in case I experience chest pains - at least until MY STRESS TEST. This is what's going to kill me - the stress BEFORE the stress test. And that test is going to take five FREAKING HOURS. I hope to God they're not expecting me to stay on the treadmill that long. I just did an exersize stress test for my cardiac wellness program yesterday and I was only able to stay on it 8 minutes. Of course, they increase the speed and incline every 20 seconds, so that makes it a bit different from my treadmill here at home. Plus I was in lousy shape before this attack occurred.

Of course, it's all for my health, and I realize that. But I didn't realize that having so much time on my hands was going to be so boring. You know we all have those days when we're sitting at our desk at work, and we think of a dozen things at home that need to be done that we could be doing instead of being at work. I had those days often. Now I have been home all this time, and only two of the projects I've been wanting to do got done because of the limitations on my movement. So once I get back to work, I'm going to have more of those moments, and it's going to drive me batty.

I'm also thinking of quitting my job. Not my security job - which I love more than any other job I've ever had before - but the boring day job. Truth of the matter is, it's not paying enough for me to invest in my future, and I need to be somewhere I can move up in the company. Right now, there is nowhere for me to go. So I started thinking of where I'd want to go with my life, and all I can think is that I want to TRAVEL. My best friend is the same age I am, but has been with her company for ten years. She is single, she owns her own car, and now her own condo, and she's been halfway around the world and back again. Currently, the biatch is in Poland, after being in Scotland. (And I say biatch with all the love in the world - we've been BFF's since we were five). I should have followed her lead in high school - not worry so much about being popular and instead go to class. SIGH. Ah well, hind sight is always 20/20 ain't it?

I think I might have gone overboard on my sleeping pills last night - I don't think I needed the two that I took. One probably would have been sufficient. But I'm not sleeping - especially since I've had to give up weed. My brain never shuts down, and I'm always thinking. Most nights it's 2am and I'm still staring at the clock. So I took two pills cuz I didn't sleep the night before. Now I'm completely groggy and it's taking forever to write this entry.

I should probably lie down.

Until later kiddies. MWAH - giant smooches and snogs. Love you all.

Stay sane inside insanity ~ and never forget your towel.