Just a thought...

You think you've got problems.

What are you supposed to do if you ARE a manically-depressed robot?

Easy Exercise

For those of us looking for easy things to do to help tone and lose weight, this weeks tip is:

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day, you'll find that you can hold this position or just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato sacks. Then try 50-lb potato sacks and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level).

After you feel comfortable at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.



Stay sane inside insanity ~ and never forget your towel.

Food Meme

Thanks to Bond baby over at the COUCH for tagging me in this, and my apologies for taking so long to complete it.

First the rules:

1. Add a direct link to your post below the name of the person who tagged you. Include the city/state and country you’re in.

Nicole (Sydney, Australia)
velverse (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia)
LB (San Giovanni in Marignano, Italy)
Selba (Jakarta, Indonesia)
Olivia (London, England)
ML (Utah, United States)
Lotus (Toronto, Canada)
tanabata (Saitama, Japan)
Andi (Dallas [ish], Texas, United States)
Lulu (Chicago, Illinois, United States)
Chris (Boyne City, Michigan, United States)
AB (Cave Creek, Arizona, United States)
Johnny Yen (Chicago, Illinois, United States)
Bubs (Mt Prospect, Illinois, United States)
Mob (Midland, Texas United States)
Yas (Ahwatukee, Arizona USA)
Alicia(Idaho Falls, Idaho, USA)
Tug (Hell, Colorado, USA)
Bond (Memphis, TN, USA)
Angell (Toronto, ON, Canada)



2. List out your top 5 favorite places to eat at your location.

3. Tag 5 other people (preferably from other countries/states) and let them know they’ve been tagged.


Ok, well, being from Toronto, there are just too many great restaurants to choose from, and my favourite downtown haunt just closed down this past winter :( . So, I've found some new ones.

Queen Mother Cafe

If you're looking for a wonderful restaurant to stop at before a night at the theatre, or somewhere to eat after all the alcohol makes it's way through your system, The Queen Mother is open late for all occassions. They're slogan is "Asian Flavours....Global Creations". They boast an international menu, and have been a favourite of theatre goers for 28 years. The prices are right and the view from the patio is GORGEOUS. Just the way to enjoy a cup of coffee after a great meal.



Hy's Steakhouse

It's a Canadian thing. With 7 locations across this country, Hy's is the best place for steaks that I've ever been to. The dark wood panelling reminds me of a gentleman's club from back in the day. Ceasar salads made tableside are a nice touch. The steaks are made to order, and cooked to perfection every time. With the prices being a little out of my normal, every day range - this is the place to go for that special occassion. You'll walk out of there VERY satisified.



Wally's

This little hole in the wall doesn't hae a website of it's own, so I've included a site of reviews. They're open 24 hours a day ( I do believe) and it's the perfect spot to hit at 2 am when you're leaving the bar and need soemthing to soak up the booze. (Yes, I did that once or twice). But they also serve a kick ass breakfast. The food is made to order, and is always hot. Oh and did I mention that their milkshakes are to die for?? The prices are cheap, and the food is great.



Posticino's

Now, I grew up with these gentlemen. Antonio started as the maitre'd at my uncle's restaurant and has gone on to open three of the hottest spots for Italian cuisine. With a subduded, relaxed atmosphere and wonderful food made with fresh ingredients - you just can't beat it. Posticino boasts two locations, and a third hot spot, Chase Wine & Grill, just opened up. But what makes this place really special is the appearance of the owner, to make sure that all is well with you. It gives you that sense of home. And I know that when I need to entertain guests, I can call and Antonio, god bless him, will find a table for me.


Canoe

Executive chef Anthony Walsh is a hot property. The menu is filled with a little something for everyone. And the menu prices, while high, are doable if the occassion is right. This is the exception to this meme, because I have never been there. BUT, I am hoping that someone will think that an anniversary dinner there is a great idea (HINT HINT).


Hmmmmm - now, who to tag? Well, let's try Suzie, Coco, Jules, Maryfly, and, even though I know she's rarely online - Tezzie!


Stay sane inside insanity ~ and never forget your towel.

Memo from the International Society of Manhood

Attention women of the world: all attempts to infiltrate the male race have FAILED. Our latest spy has been captured and subjected to constant screenings of Steven Segal movies, numerous football games, farting contests, and repeated viewings of the '72 Summit series. However, before being apprehended, she was able to send this message. This appears to be a set of behavioral rules for men to follow. Hopefully, her sacrifice was not in vain, and we will be able to decipher and use these rules to our advantage.

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is ok for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss' car.
d. When she is using her teeth.

3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his mates.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a bloke for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10: You may fart in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos, Ever! Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c. Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

26: Thou shall not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever!

29. If you walk into a toilet and a man is using one of the urinals, you must have at least 1 urinal spaced between the two of you. No exceptions!

30. We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below.

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask, "Are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next!"

We hope this clears up any confusion.

International Council of Manhood



Stay sane inside insanity ~ and never forget your towel

Mid-week FUNNY

A friend of mine forwarded these to me, and they're just so funny I had to share (and yes I'm trying to get out of writing an actual post until I have something moderately interesting to share).

Out of Office Replies

1. I am currently away from my desk, beating my head against the wall. Your message will be replied to once I have reached a level of numbness sufficient to cloud my vision to the point I am able to formulate an appropriate response to your request.

2. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

3. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

4. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return on. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this one is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8. I've run away to join a different circus.

9. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Martha' instead of 'Marvin.'


Stay sane inside insanity ~ and never forget your towel.

LUUUUUCY - you ha' some 'splainin to do.....

Ok, so apparently I have to explain one of my jobs. LOL.

When I was 13, my uncle and his partner opened an "adult entertainment establishment" (read: strip club). Well, five years later my uncle's partner absconded with $300,000 and was never seen in the vicinity again. So, my parents bailed him out with some cash, and became his partners. Talk about getting tons of marriage proposals once that got out.....

My mom and dad ran that place like a well oiled machine, but my uncle used it as his private playground.

Ladies, here's a hint. If you want to turn your man off strip clubs forever, and also have him appreciate you all the more - get him a job in the club. Not something glamourous like a DJ. Get him a job as a bar back, or in the kitchen. TRUST ME - before we got married, Rod worked there with me, both as a bar back and a cook. After the first three months, the novelty of being around naked women wore off, and to this day, he can't enter a club without some very bad flashbacks. *grin*

So, as I said, I worked in the office, and at the door as well. Personally, I myself developed an appreciation for some of the women. I know that people say that most of them are just trying to provide a better life for themselves, but a lot of people don't believe that. They still are under the impression that all strippers are crack addicted whores. That's only true for very few these days. A lot of the girls I knew were students, putting themselves through university, or single mothers who's ex's wouldn't pay child support. Most were quite intelligent, honest, and wouldn't hurt a fly.

When it became apparent that my uncle was partying too much with money that should have been going into the club, the decision was made to sell it. That was seven years ago, and while I regret that they had to sell (cuz the place would have made an AMAZING nightclub), it was an interesting part of family history.

So there ya go. Any more questions?

CAN I BE IN THE SHOW NOW RICKY??????


Stay sane inside insanity ~ and never forget your towel.

Five questions....

Bond baby, over at The Couch, tagged me with these five questions. All you needed to know about Angell, but were afraid to ask. LOL.

1) You love to write. What is your greatest desire as a writer?

Wow, that’s a tough one. Realistically, it would be to be commercial enough that I can write as a career, but in the end, it’s the hope that I can write something that will be so profound, so life altering, that generations will look to my work as something worthwhile.

2) Working security for sporting events and concerts, tell us about the one event that you would like to work the most?

Does it have to be real? LOL. Well, it looks like it will be coming up this summer. The concert Al Gore is putting together will be taking place in multiple cities across North America, and Toronto will be one of them. Big names will be coming out to perform for this, and regardless of the headliners, it will be an experience to work. Anytime you get legends of rock together, it’s always a good show. BUT, if I could put together my dream show, it would be Aerosmith, Styx, MeatLoaf, Nelson and Jimmy Buffett (yes - my musical tastes run to either end). Now there would be a show worth drooling over.

3) Your blog is called Angell’z Secretz. Tell us a secret.

Tisk tisk Bond - you should know better than that.

4) You mention in your latest blog you are going to see Rocky Horror and with your hair, you can only go as Magenta. How many times have you actually gone to see this movie and what is your favorite part?

At home, I've watched the movie over a hundred times. I’ve gone to the theatre to see the movie only once – and been to see it as the Rocky Horror Show twice. My favourite part of the show (both movie & theatre experience) is when they do the floor show. There’s just something intensely erotic about well built men in corsets. Oh, but if you mean my favourite CHARACTER part, I would have to say Columbia. She gets to make out with everyone, and she’s just so cute. ;D

5) It seems you have had quite a few jobs. Tell us about them all.

Wow, that’s a tall order. OK, well, let’s start with my office managers job for my parent’s strip club. I did the payroll, inventory, played solitare on the computer, and took cover charge at the door at night.

Then I worked at TNT Skypack Express for a year – it was a night shift, and I worked from five pm until two am.

After that, I worked as an usher at one of the most prestigious theatres in Toronto – the Royal Alexandra. There, I was fortunate enough to see amazing shows, including 500 performances of Mamma Mia (and believe me, that was enough).

After my tenure at the Alex was complete, I worked for a talent agency as an assistant. I left that six months later when I was able to realize my dream of being a working actor in a show called Tony ‘n’ Tina’s Wedding. It’s an interactive, improv show which was great. But four months of being there taught me one thing – improv is a lot harder than it looks.

Fortunately, while I was between jobs, I was able to help out the family by taking care of my grandmother after she had a stroke and broke her pelvis.

Then, I joined the security company, which I have now been doing for four years. I now work in the A/R dept for a transmission shop and I still do security.


So there you have it. Five questions about l'il ol' me. I will ask for volunteers, but since most of the people that read this blog have already been tagged, I won't hold my breath. :D


Stay sane inside insanity ~ and never forget your towel.