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Wednesday, April 29, 2009

One year ago...

This happened to me.

All sorts of things were supposed to change. I was supposed to lose weight by exersizing and taking better care of my diet.

I was supposed to be happier. Living life to the fullest, and never taking anything for granted again. I was supposed to stress less and enjoy more.

I was supposed to get a move on in my life. Be in a better job doing something I love.

Sad to report, nothing's changed.

I mean, it did for awhile. But once I was allowed to go back to work, reality kicked in HARD. It's tough to plan meals when you're busy. And when you've conditioned yourself to hating exersize, well, old patterns are tough to break.

I'm still stuck in the same dead end job, only now they're piling more crap on top of my usual duties. My boss sits across from me, when he has his own perfectly good office down the hall. I used to have my own office, but they decided that I goof off too much, and maybe they're right. But still...when you get all the work done you have to, and they're still piling more shit on...

I wonder, if the heart attack didn't force me to change my life, what the hell will?

Until I have an answer, I'm still stuck in a rut. And hating every stinking minute of it.

Stay sane inside insanity ~ and never forget your towel.

6 comments:

Bond said...

Best time to find a job is when you have one. You are intelligent and a hard worker...do some searching...get off the couch (not mine, yours)...

HUGS for hope...

Travis said...

Circumstances really don't change your life. You change your life when you want to.

So decide what you really want, and then change.

Dayle A. Dermatis said...

Not sure if you want advice or just hugs and support, and since I don't like to give unrequested advice, let me send you

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS!}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

If you want to chat, e-mail me...or call!

Meribah said...

I sure hope you get your life straightened out, honey, cuz you deserve better than to be stuck in a rut like that. Just know that we're here for you. Hugs.

coco said...

Maybe we could get unstuck together? *smooches*

Chris D said...

Hi, I work with people all the time to help them move out of ruts and change unwanted patterns. The thing that sometimes keeps us in unwanted patterns of behaviour is an emotional attachment to it. Not always of course, but most of the work I've done is along these lines.

I'm not one of those that blames past abuse for anything. It's more about changing the meaning of what keeps you stuck. . . . and I agree with Dayle, so this is not meant as advice, just know that you can change anything you want in your life, but you have to want to change it.

Good luck with your journey.

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