Monday, February 25, 2008

Maniacal Monday

Well, I know it's been over a month since my last post and I'd like to say that it's cause life is hectic, and in a way, that's accurate. However, it's also because I have SO much to say, but no coherent train of thought. It happens sometimes. So I'm just gonna blow here, and if it makes sense, then that's a bonus.

First off, I'm sad to report that a section of Queen St W., Toronto's oldest, hippest, most historic shopping community, was torched at the beginning of the week. Authorities still don't know what the cause of the fire was, but speculation has it that one of the landlords in the area was lax in his background checks and that one of the tennants on the upper floors built a meth lab. Nice huh? Gotta love those big cities.

More info here

My friend Chrystina took some of these photos with her cell phone. Its' truly eerie, and the city is at a loss right now.

I'm not sure what gets me more. That this happened, or how the city plans on rebuilding it. As of right now, none of the city's government has stepped forward and offered to help. And when it eventually DOES get rebuilt, I'm willing to bet any amount of money that they "modernize" it. The buildings will be all glass and steel, and cold and unfeeling. No one builds with brick anymore. And the heart of the city will lose it uniqueness and it's soul. I remember shopping there when I was in my early teens with my aunt. The best vintage shops were down there. You could find anything you wanted - and as I got older I spent many weekend afternoons digging through the shops with my friends to see what treasures I could discover. I know that some of the bar owners and shop owners whose businesses were spared are banding together to help those that suffered great losses. Even if the politicians don't help - the city looks out for it's own.

And onto AI's first round of elminations. I must thank Dana for posting the (very detailed) results for us on the TOOSP board, as I was bowling and missed it. All I have to say is that, for each of the sexes, one was right, and one was wrong. Chikeze better be thanking his lucky stars he's still around after that snoozer of a performance on Tuesday night. And as for calling Amanda up on stage - America, get it right this time around ok? You need a rocker CHICK to win this - and I think she's gonna go far.

And the last thing I'm gonna say on this right now - someone PLEASE put Paula back on her meds.

I hate my cousin. He's a whiny, crybaby little drama queen, and I'm so glad that my aunt isn't around to see what a disappointment he is. He has no family loyalty whatsoever. I have never cared that he's gay, I have supported him in just about everything he wants to do. He's been driving me to work for the last few months because it's on his way to school. Well, due to a little disagreement, during which he screamed his ass off at me and which I tried to rectify by speaking to him as an adult and addressing his concerns, he has decided to deliberately leave me in the lurch and is refusing to ever drive me to work again. So I now have to add two hours travel time to my day, which means getting up at six to make a seven oclock bus. Two different bus systems and a ten minute walk (on a nice weather day) from the bus stop. In the winter, it's twice as long and turns into a wind tunnel. I stick up for him, I defend him. And yet I get told I don't support him, and he doesn't feel "the love". FUCK HIM. This has also stressed out my mother who feels like she's holding this family together by a thread. Since my aunt passed away, she has taken responsibility for my two cousins. So she feels like her kids are fighting. It's stressing me out that it's stressing her out so bad. I attempted to settle this between us, but the little drama queen had to call her while she was on retreat to tell her what was going on. I could have slapped him stupid.

Been having a lot of self esteem issues lately, and can't seem to get my life together. I feel like I'm karma's bitch - that I deserve every bad thing that's happening to me lately. My husband got hit from behind and our truck (the love of our lives) got written off. Rising gas prices, and an undercut from the insurance company has forced us to get a small car. And this was going to be the year that we got another car - one for me. But we have to put that on hold. Just like everything else.

My security license is also stressing me out. When I was denied renewal, as some of you might remember, I was "re-assigned" to the usher division for two reasons: one was that so I could keep working, but the other was so that I could train to take over for the usher supervisor that will be going on mat leave in April. Well, there has been so much drama surrounding this "possibility" that it's making me want to leave the company all together. A friend of mine did the job last year, but MLSE asked that she not return to the building at all - she didn't do a very good job of managing the ushers from what I've been told. And she also made a few mistakes in her position of "authority" both in the current building and in the new soccer stadium (both of which are managed by the same group of people). She also offended the dance pack for our AHL team on Facebook, in a public group, when she had all the members of management team on her friends list. This was the straw that got her banned from the building. (Bad mouthing any aspect of MLSE when you are associated with the building, the company or the team is enough for disciplinary action). So it was all her own doing. When this so-called "friend" heard that it was possible I might be taking over in April, she spouted off to another friend that I had no idea what I was doing (even thought I've been in the building for five years, a security guard for that long and have more experience than she did when she was doing the job), that me taking over is a fucking joke. But to my face, I'll bet you any money, she'll be nice as pie about it. I really don't need that, y'know?

The day job is driving me so batty that the second I walk in the building I'm consumed by homicidal tendencies - towards one particular individual, but, though no one likes him, it doesn't look like he's going to be going anywhere anytime soon. Plus I need a job that pays more - standard of living keeps going up and up, but wages do not increase in accordance. But I'm trying to find somewhere I'm going to like that I can make a career out of. I'm debating looking into publishing companies. I have a few thoughts on this. But will save those for a later date.

I have to apologize to all my good friends who read this blog. I'm sorry I've been neglectful. I'm sorry I haven't commented on your blogs as much as I'd like to. I'm sorry that this has sat blank for over a month. Truth be told, I have no energy to do anything. Even something as easy as typing in a blog. Because my mind is so jumbled, it's tough for anything coherent to be assembled. But I have tried. And I hope it has worked. I will try again soon.

In the meantime, as my friend Bond baby says - Be good, and if you can't be good, name it after me. :D

Stay sane inside insanity ~ and never forget your towel.


Dayle A. Dermatis said...

{{{{hugs}}}} Things may look down now, but they will start looking up. The universe doesn't toss anything at us that we can't ultimately handle. The dark and cold of winter is probably making things worse, too.

I think you should splurge on that Styx ticket and bring some much-needed Stygian love and joy into your life! :-)

Travis Cody said...

On the bright side, if you don't blog for another month we'll still have plenty to read.


Cheer up dear! I know it's tough now, but good stuff has gotta rush in and balance the books sooner or later.

Liz Hill said...

I so know what you mean sugar---when there' too much that wants to come out sometimes it's just too exhausting to break up the log jam. Glad you did though.


Unknown said...

Man, you had a lot going on in the past month! Those pictures are just creepy looking. I hate that :(

Unknown said...

Let me try this again...Damm Duck caused my post to not go through.

It sounds like you've had a busy and rough month. Hugs and kisses, Angell Baby!

Meribah said...

Wow! Sorry to hear you've been having so many problems, hon. Sucky things happen and sometimes the only thing you can do is sigh, say a little prayer and just muddle through the best you can. Hope the sucky things go away and some good stuff starts happening for you soon! Hugs.


With love and pride