and as the world mourns....

It's one of those times when you realize how much you need the people you care about, and who care about you.

Michael Jackson's passing was, to say the least, a total and complete shock to most. But as was pointed out to me, he was never in the best of health, and rumor has it that he only ate once a day, consuming minimal calories in order to keep his weight down.

This week, the entertainment world lost three icons. And wives lost husbands, children lost parents, parents lost a child....it happens daily but we don't hear about the tragedy of it all because 99% of them aren't famous. It doesn't make their deaths any less important. And just because the world feels that entertainers belong to the public doesn't mean that they do. They still have families, friends and private lives.

I honestly hope that people respect that fact and allow those closest to mourn their own way, in their own places, without being under a microscope. For a much better tribute than I could ever produce, please go have a seat on the Couch and check out Vinny's amazing post about Michael.

This was passed on to me this morning, and rather than pass it on to all my women friends, and clutter up your inboxes, I decided to post it here, to also share it with those that visit.

To all the men in my life, this isn't to say that we don't appreciate you, and all you do for us. But sometimes, a girl just needs her sisters.



You may have seen this before, if so enjoy, if not, enjoy! How true it is. Each of you, for your own reasons are important to me and I appreciate and value your friendship and support.


A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her mother. As they talked about life, about marrriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter..

'Don't forget your sisters,' she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. 'They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are still going to need sisters. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them..'

'Remember that 'sisters' means ALL the women...your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other women relatives too. 'You'll need other women. Women always do.'

' What a funny piece of advice!' the young woman thought. Haven't I just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my husband and the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!'

But she listened to her mother. She kept contact with her sisters and made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her mother really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, sisters are the mainstays of her life..

After more than 50 years of living in this world, here is what I've learned:

THIS SAYS IT ALL:
Time passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.
Children grow up.
Jobs come and go.
Love waxes and wanes.
Men don't do what they're supposed to do.
Hearts break.
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors.
Careers end.

BUT.........

Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girl friend is never farther away than needing her can reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end..

Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you...Or come in and carry you out.

Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended family: all bless our life!

The world wouldn't be the same without women, and neither would I. When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other..


Y'all know who you are. I can't thank you enough for being my sisters.





Stay sane inside insanity ~ and never forget your towel.

Fathers...

Ok, it's been tough. Another old friend of mine just lost her dad this morning. And I sat down and really thought about that. So many people I know have lost their fathers in the last year, it's truly devestating to think about.

There was a group of us girls, years ago. Some came and went, but four of us stayed constant. Today, three out of four of us have lost our fathers. I'm the only lucky one.

My father had a heart attack almost twelve years ago. A quadruple bypass was the result. And I was scared. I mean, REALLY scared. He's my dad. I didn't want to contemplate losing him so young. I tried to write out the details of it all - especially his recovery, but I can't seem to find the words to say. To this day, it was the hardest period of my life.

In the last few years, two of the other girls lost their dads - one to cancer. I believe the other was a heart attack.

And I'm sorry, and very ashamed, to say, I wasn't there as well as I could have been for Cat when Douglas passed, and I wasn't there at all for the other.

When Bruce died almost two years ago now, Tami lost herself for awhile. And she had horrendous legal battles to fight with her stepmother. I was too self absorbed to notice. I always put it off - Well, I'll go see her tomorrow. Well, she's busy. And then, it was too late to be much help, so I avoided her altogether, because it seemed easier than dealing with her anger. I'm not much for confrontation when it comes to my friends.

Now, that combined with a whole lot of other things I am too ashamed to admit, the friendship is gone. And it is my fault. I don't ever expect her to forgive me. Because I know how hurt I would be if someone I loved wasn't there for me in my darkest hour. There would be no reasons, no excuses that I would accept.

But I vowed that I would learn, and be a better friend to those I could in their time of need.

Monday, the final girl, Tammy, lost her father to cancer as well. I remember her father - such a nice man with a fabulous sense of humor. We always called him Dad. Harris was a ton of fun when we were younger. I'm sad to say that as we got older, we drifted, as people often do.

I sat here and thought about how lucky I am. I still have my father with me. All four of us were Daddy's Little Girls, and we always will be. But I still have the chance to be with mine.

It might be too late to say I'm sorry. And it's too late to make amends with those I've hurt. But I can post this in memory of three great men, and in tribute to the wonderful women they raised.

A Father Is...

A Father is neither an anchor to hold us back
nor a sail to take us there,
but always a guiding light
whose love shows us the way.
The warm light of your love
shines in my memories and in my heart
reminding me of your guidance
your care, and most of all, your love

*I found that on the net - but there's no credit for it. But I thought it was just perfect*

My dad used to sing this to me every night up utnil I was ten I believe. At that point I thought I was too big to be sung to, but even now, there are days I just need to hear it.

Daddy's Little Girl

You're the end of my rainbow, my pot of gold.
You're Daddy's little girl, to have and hold.
A precious gem is what you are.
You're Mommy's bright and shining star.
You're the spirit of Christmas, my star on the tree.
You're the Easter Bunny to Mommy and me.
You're sugar, you're spice,
You're everything nice,
And you're Daddy's little girl.

I also post in memory of a fourth wonderful man, who raised a terrific son. Lew Cooke was a spry old guy, working in the security business at the age of 72, almost until the very end. Cancer also claimed this gentle soul. His son Ron is a good friend of mine, and he knows his friends are with him.

This was Lew's favourite song.

I DON'T NEED YOUR ROCKING CHAIR
George Jones

I don't need your rockin' chair
Your Geritol or Medicare.
I still got neon in my veins
This gray hair don't mean a thing.
I do my rockin' on the stage,
You can't put this possum in a cage
My body's old but it ain't impaired
I don't need your rockin' chair

I ain't ready for the junkyard yet
'Cause I still feel like a new Corvette
It may take a little longer but I'll get there
I don't need no rockin' chair

I don't need your rockin' chair
Your Geritol or Medicare.
I still got neon in my veins
This gray hair don't mean a thing.
I do my rockin' on the stage,
You can't put this possum in a cage
My body's old but it ain't impaired
I don't need your rockin' chair

Retirement don't fit my plan
You can take your seat, I'm gonna stand
An Eskimo needs a frigidair
But I don't need no rockin' chair

I don't need your rockin' chair
Your Geritol or Medicare.
I still got neon in my veins
This gray hair don't mean a thing.
I do my rockin' on the stage,
You can't put this possum in a cage
My body's old but it ain't impaired
I don't need your rockin' chair

My body's old but it ain't impaired
Yeah I don't need no rockin' chair

For all those that have lost their dad....my heart is with you. And for those of us lucky enough to still have our daddy's with us, cherish every moment.


Stay sane inside insanity ~ and never forget your towel.

One Fallen Dove

A work of fiction - done when I was YOUNGER. (so much more so than I am now)



The sound of the rocking chair on the creaky floorboards echoes eerily through the deserted corridors of James Hall. The approaching dawn bathes the floor in a soft pink light. All the doors are closed, as no doubt the co-eds are sleeping off the night before. A soft chuckle emits from the rocking chair as the occupant gazes at the hallway of closed room doors and remembers....

It wasn't long ago that he was part of the group who were locked behind those doors. They were young, they were friends, but most of all, they were alive. From all different sorts of backgrounds: upper class, lower class, Catholic, Atheist, Italian, Arabic. Social barriers had separated them at first, but they quickly discovered that they were all alike, no matter how different they may have seemed. "These are the best years of your life.” he had been told, and he had believed them. So, off to university he went, apprehensive, yet excited at the prospect of freedom. It was a concept his life at home did not allow him to fully explore, or experience. He did, however, have extreme regrets about leaving HER behind.

She was the one girl he wanted, and the one girl he couldn't have. His best friend, and fantasy, she was already taken. He had only been at university a few months, and although he kept himself busy by working hard and trying to see other girls, he missed her like crazy. But he HAD to keep in mind (for his own sanity) that they were just friends. Yet it was not possible. She had come to visit on her exam break, bringing with her (much to his dismay), her boyfriend and two others. Still, he was ecstatic to see her, regardless of who she was with. "We'll go anywhere you want to go." he had told her. When she asked for ideas, his first mistake was to mention Kelly's, a local bar, that was holding a their weekly promo night. Twelve dollars for all you could drink, and OH BOY! Did she ever. Assisting her back to the dorm room, it was ironic that her boyfriend should be there, when he had her where he always wanted her - in his arms. He wanted her to stay a few days longer - just her, no one else. But of course this did not happen and the following day, he kissed her cheek and wished them all a safe drive back.

As their car faded into the distance, he turned from the window, and forced her out of his mind. He sat down to do his art homework, and life went on as usual. The pub parties, the classes, the endless all-nighters, and of course, the homework. But he still found time to think of her.

It was a cold Thursday in February when his roommates, Keith and Ron, opened the door to his room. The three of them were so close, that they had been officially nicknamed The Three Musketeers, and they tried whenever possible to live up to their name.

"Comrade Aramis! Get thy nose out of that book and let us journey to the local tavern and get thee wasted!" Ron hammed it up with broad gestures and a deep theatrical voice. It was once again everybody's favourite night - twelve dollars for all you could drink. He threw a pillow at the door, laughingly stating "Journey to get thee wasted and raise a glass for me, for alas! I regret I cannot join you in your merriment. I've got this major paper due for English, and I have no time for frivolity."

If the truth were to be known, the paper was already done. He just couldn't take the memories of the last time he was there with her. The pain was too fresh; he missed her more than ever. She was constantly in his thoughts. As much as he tried, he couldn't get her out of his mind. Her image was permanently embedded in his brain, and he couldn't figure out a way to erase it. Keith and Ron were perplexed.

"Very well friend. But thy presence shall be missed by the lovely maidens and thy comrades." They waved as they went into their separate rooms to change. And just as he was going back to his book, he heard her voice.

"Hello Aramis. How art thou?" His eyes shot up and drank in the sight of her figure lounging in the doorway. He closed his eyes tightly, as if she were a mirage, and figured that when he opened them, she would be gone. When he opened his eyes and she was still there, his jaw dropped open in surprise.

"HELLOOOOO NURSE! What are you doing here? Who else is with you?" he asked, mystified. She giggled, and he blushed.

"You call THAT a greeting?" she teased. "Well, I'm here to see you of course, and I'm all by my lonesome. Nobody else could afford the time off." She flew into his arms and held onto him tightly. He felt uncertain as his strong arms circled her trembling body, and she began to cry.

"Ssh. What's wrong sugar? Don't cry." he soothed. She pulled away and swiped at her eyes. "I might as well tell you. He and I, well, the reason I'm here alone is that we broke up." She took a deep breath. "Last week." He felt guilty as a jolt of surprise (and pleasure) ran throughout his body.

"Why?" That one simple syllable set her off crying again."I guess he couldn't take being tied down." she sobbed incoherently. "He wants to be `just friends'." She spat the words out in disgust. "I came because I really needed to be with you, my best friend." She gazed up at him, her big brown eyes overflowing with tears. She seemed to be so vulnerable, so yielding, yet so inviting. He had to do SOMETHING.

"Porthos! Athos! Get thy butts in here!" They came racing in, took one look at the helpless girl in their roommate's arms, and looks of concern crossed their faces. "What's up boss?" They chorused in unison. "Call Whitney, Trevor, John and Phil. We are all taking my baby for a night on the town. And if I have anything to say about it," he gazed down at her lovingly, "this little lady here is going to have the time of her life!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I had a great time tonight.” she whispered as he helped her into bed. "Good." He pulled the blanket under her chin and kissed her forehead. As he turned out the light, he didn't hear her light footsteps as he felt her arms steal around him.

"Please stay." she whispered. She was drunk, depressed, vulnerable, and oh so tempting. She was begging for his company and he saw the plea in her eyes. As much as he wanted to make her forget all about what’s-his-name, and hold her all night, he had to do what was right. While his mind and heart were violently arguing, he lifter her in his arms and carried her to the bed. Once again, he laid her down and kissed her; only this time it was different.

“I love you.” He said. “I always have. And when you wake up in the morning, I’ll be here, taking care of you. For now, and always. Have sweet dreams my princess.”

That was the last time he saw her.

She was still asleep the next morning when he awoke for his first class. He dressed silently, as so not to disturb her slumber. He scribbled her a quick note to let her know he’d be back soon. A quick knock on Keith’s door let Keith know that she was still asleep, and to keep the noise down.

He grabbed his books, put on his Walkman, and walked out the door. Led Zeppelin tunes filled his head as he began the cross campus trek towards the arts building. He never saw the car, never heard the high-pitch squeal of the brakes or the loud blare of the horn, and never felt any pain…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the alarm clocks begin to sound behind the closed doors, the occupant remains in his seat.Creak, creak.

“Another day of hell, eh Keith?” Ron’s voice carries to the silent occupant as the door to room 306 opens.

“Yeah, I guess.” Keith’s voice is despondent. Ron doesn’t have to ask the reason for his misery. He clasps Keith on the shoulder.I know pal. I miss him too.” He gazes directly at the painting above the rocking chair, of doves released from their cage and soaring to freedom. He always said that it symbolized their release from university and being set free to explore the world. Painted by their missing friend, the absent Musketeer. They stand in silence for a moment. The occupant rises, reaching out to embrace his friends, but to no avail. He grasps air instead. For more than social barriers separate them now.

More than a world separates them now.

The occupant sinks back into his chair, knowing that he is forever destined to rock alone but for his memories.

As Keith continues on his way to the common room, Ron hears a noise from the rocking chair.It sounds distinctly like someone sobbing. He once again gazes at the painting.


And remembers…………© Angell 1994

R.I.P. Chris Benoit

Chris Benoit: 1967 - 2007

I don't have the heart to type the details. Here's the news story.

WWE wrestler Chris Benoit and family found dead
BY ALFONSO A. CASTILLO
alfonso.castillo@newsday.com

June 26, 2007, 9:53 AM EDT

Renowned pro wrestler Chris Benoit, his wife and their 7-year-old-son, were found dead Monday afternoon in their Fayetville, Ga. home, Atlanta police said.

Details of the deaths "are going to prove a little bizarre" when released to the public, Fayette County District Attorney Scott Ballard told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. Autopsies were scheduled Tuesday by the Georgia Bureau of Investigation in DeKalb County, according to the Associated Press.

Investigators believe Benoit, 40, killed his wife Nancy and son Daniel over the weekend, and then himself sometime Monday.

The three bodies were found in different rooms of the home, according to reports.

The news came just a day after Benoit mysteriously pulled out of a World Wrestling Entertainment pay per view event, during which he was expected to be crowned Extreme Championship Wrestling world champion. Various pro wrestling news sources reported that Benoit was unable to appear at the event due to a family emergency.

"There are no further details at this time, other than the Benoit family residence is currently being investigated by local authorities," the WWE said in a statement on its Web site.

Ballard said a gun was not used in any of the deaths. But he declined to say how the three died.

"We're pretty sure we know, but we want to confirm it with the crime lab," Ballard said early Tuesday.

Benoit was a 22-year ring veteran and perennial favorite of wrestling purists, who praised his high-intensity style and technical acumen. His aggressive wrestling technique earned him the nicknames "The Crippler" and "The Rabid Wolverine." In 2000 and 2004, he was named Oustanding Wrestler of the Year by the Wrestling Observer newsletter and in 2004 he was named Wrestler of the Year by Pro Wrestling Illustrated magazine.

The Edmonton, Canada native trained to become a wrestler in Calgary, and honed his skills in Japan before becoming a regular on U.S. national promotions in the mid-1990s. Benoit's career highlight took place in New York, when he won his first World Wrestling Entertainment world heavyweight championship in Madison Square Garden in the main event of WrestleMania XX.

Benoit cried as he celebrated in the ring with his wife and son, as well as best friend, wrestler Eddie Guerrero, who died in 2005.

"Wrestling has consumed my life," Benoit said in a 2004 WWE career retrospective video. "Wrestling is my mistress. It's my passion. It defines who I am as a person."

WWE Monday night canceled its scheduled live 3-hour "Monday Night RAW" program, which coincidentally was originally billed as a "memorial service" for WWE chairman Vince McMahon, whose character was recently killed off in a controversial scripted storyline.

McMahon opened the show from center ring in an empty arena and clarified that Benoit and his family had died "in reality." McMahon called Benoit "one of the greatest WWE superstars of all-time."

Information from the Associated Press was used in this report.
Copyright 2007 Newsday Inc.

Miz Angell's No Disqualifications....today's column....

Stay sane inside insanity ~ and never forget your towel.