AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHH.
Writer's block has set in. I can't think - can't imagine - I'M STUCK!!!!
I have tried every exersize in the book - creative visualization (kind of worked, but not for the writing - wakka wakka - wink wink), writing the first thing that came to mind (which happened to be the first line of this post), idea trees, timelines, looking at old letters - NOTHING has worked.
I can't even come up with an idea for a decent blog post - DANA - can I borrow Bessie? Seriously folks, for someone who used to write every day, this is incredibly disconcerting. Especially since I read all the brilliance that is blogged by our resident couch, the luggage et al. I'm starting to have an inferiority complex.
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?????????
Yes, I am spending a lot of time yelling at nothing these days. Well, frustration will do that to you.
So, on that note
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGHHHHHHH!
Dana, tell Bessie I'm coming over - put on the hot chocolate and cookies.
Ok, so if I got it right from what Sue did, then this is five things I hate but am guilty of doing....
5. Leaving two cookies left in the bag: Yes, I have done this before. It drives me to distraction when other people do it, but I do it myself cuz I don't want to seem like a pig, or I'm just too lazy to throw the bag out. Fortunately, I DO NOT do this with beveridges.
4. Cutting in front of people that have been waiting to get on the highway: ok, yes, I have done this once or twice in my life - mainly when I'm in a hurry to get to work, but otherwise, I wait my turn like everyone else.
3. Not returning phone calls for days: Yes, I am definately guilty of this as well - but I spend all day on the phone talking to jackasses. The last thing I want to do when I get home is listen to someone bitch about the jackasses THEY had to deal with. You see where I'm going with this? But if it's important, or someone I haven't spoken to in awhile, I will return the call immediately.
2. Leaving shoes in the middle of the floor: In a house full of four adults, that's MANY MANY pairs of shoes, and I always try to move them to the sides of the entrance way, but there are those days that I NEED to dash downstairs for, um, various reasons, and wind up leaving them in the way.
1. Interrupting during a conversation: Now, I'm not so much guilty of this, as I am of interrupting my husband to tell the story better than he could. :D He leaves out details all the time, so I try to tell the story to give the listener maximum understanding. Of course, when I do this, I get maximum annoyance from Rod....
Well, Sue dear, I hope this is how that was supposed to go.
I tag.....PAUL.
Stay sane inside insanity - and never forget your towel.
FACTS ABOUT BREAST CANCER IN CANADA*
These facts aren't up to date (seeing as how we are now in 2007), but they don't have to be. There is still no cure, and people are still dying.
I hope that they can live with that on their conscience.
Stay sane inside insanity - and never forget your towel.
My fine is $590! Now, if they want a total for EVERY time you've done one of these - I'd have to call The Donald for a loan!!!
Tally up what you've done! What would your fine be?
Smoked pot -- $10
Did acid -- $5
Ever had sex at church -- $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- $40
Had sex with someone on MySpace -- $25
Had sex for money -- $100
Ever had sex with a Puerto Rican -- $20
Vandalized something -- $20
Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10
Beat up someone -- $20vBeen jumped -- $10
Crossed dressed -- $10
Given money to stripper -- $25
Been in love with a stripper -- $20
Kissed some one who's name you didn't know -- $0.10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- $15
Ever drive drunk -- $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $50
Used toys while having sex -- $30
Got drunk, passed and don't remember the night before -- $20
Went skinny dipping -- $5
Had sex in a pool -- $20
Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20
Cheated on your significant other -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- $20
Done oral -- $5
Got oral -- $5
Done / got oral in a car while it was moving -- $25
Stole something -- $10
Had sex with someone in jail -- $25
Made a nasty home video -- $15
Had a threesome -- $50
Had sex in the wild -- $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- $25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars -- $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25
Went streaking -- $5
Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15
Been arrested -- $5
Spent time in jail -- $15
Peed in the pool -- $0.50
Played spin the bottle -- $5
Done something you regret -- $20
Had sex with your best friend -- $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work -- $25
Had anal sex -- $80
Lied to your mate -- $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25
Now the fun part is trying to figure out how it all adds up? Hmmmmm - leave a comment with your total.
Stay sane inside insanity - and never forget your towel.
Found this kicking around on a disc - I think I saved it for the Official Soul Patrol Scrapbook that Connie & I (thought of first) helped put together. :D Good for a memory, a smile, a laugh...
Recently, bloggers on the internet have revealed that Taylor Hicks does indeed have a serious medical condition. For many years, he has been suffering with a disease known as conjunctive cardiac soulitis - a sometimes fatal proximity of heart and soul.
More common in the south, this disease is very serious and may result in muscle twitching as your body is overcome with the urge to dance. Verbal patterns are interspersed with sudden outbursts of "woo" and "hey," especially while singing or excited. These outbursts are sometimes misdiagnosed as Tourette's, but are, in fact, evidence of a "level 3" conjunctive cardiac soulitis infection.
WARNING: conjunctive cardiac soulitis is EXTREMELY CONTAGIOUS. The disease has been known to be transmitted simply by being in the same room as someone already afflicted, or - more amazingly - through sound waves. In fact, conjunctive cardiac soulitis is the only disease on record capable of being transmitted through auditory stimuli. The World Health Organization urges extreme caution in dealing with this disease, calling it a "bigger threat than bird flu."
Now you know.
As many of you know by now, Taylor has accute CCS. Since this disease is rapidly spreading, and many Americans are at risk, I thought I'd post some updated information on it.
What is CCS?
Conjunctive cardiac soulitis - or CCS - is a severe inflammation of heart and soul. It is usually caused by an unexpected proximity of heart and soul or - in extreme cases - when heart and soul actually come into direct contact.
What are the symptoms of CCS?
Level one symptoms are mild and are most often characterized by a generally euphoric feeling that spreads rapidly throughout the body.
Level two symptoms are highlighted by a sudden loss of muscle control that begins as twitching and can progress to the point of motions that resemble involuntary dance.
Level three infections - the most serious cases - include sudden vocal outbursts such as "woo" and "hey", usually when singing or excited. Occassionally, level three CCS is confused with Tourette's Syndrome. Although this misdiagnosis is common, CCS is, in fact, quite different and much more benign than Tourette's.
How do you become infected with CCS?
The primary path of infection is through the ears. From there, CCS spreads rapidly throughout the body. Individuals with keen ears for good music, an open heart, and gentle soul are more than five times more likely to become infected than those without.
Clinical studies have shown that individuals from the South are particularly vulnerable to CCS, while some individuals from the North actually carry an antibody against the disease. Doctors urge caution, though, since CCS is extremely contagious and spreading rapidly throughout the entire American population and no one is truly safe. The World Health Organization and the Surgeon General issued a joint statement calling CCS a "potential pandemic that makes the spread of SARS and bird flu look like molasses. Mmmmm. Molasses."
Is their a cure for CCS?
Treatment is available for CCS, but not advised. 9 out of 10 doctors recommend no treatment for CCS. The 10th doctor is a quack, so you probably shouldn't listen to him. For those afflicted with CCS, the best "treatment" is education and awareness. By fully understanding how CCS affects the body, you have a better chance of regulating your day-to-day outbursts.
For those deranged individuals who insist on a "cure", treatment is available in the form of several large - and painful - shots of hiphopoxia administered directly to the ears. This type of treatment is not always guaranteed to work and can have serious side effects. In extreme cases, patients may develop a bad case of "the rap" (also known as Tupacitis and Foshizzlaxis). The rap can cause the body to develop shiny oversized growths (known as "blings"), cause the gradual supplantation of teeth with precious metals, and force a sudden weight-loss in the hips and waist that cause the pants to fall down constantly. As any foo' can plainly see, the cure for CCS is worse than the disease.
I have CCS. What should I do now?
First of all, don't worry. Many famous people have lived their entire lives with CCS. Performers such as Ray Charles and Joe Cocker have had successful and fulfilling careers despite (or perhaps because of) their affliction.
CCS is not a debilitating disease. In fact, once you overcome the initial confusion about "what's happening to me?", you will likely find your CCS bouts an enjoyable experience.
The best way to deal with your CCS is to let it out. Trying to hold it back only makes it worse. Smile, dance, whoop and holler. Voting for Taylor Hicks on American Idol also helps.
Now - stick out your tongue and say "woooooo!"
Stay sane inside insanity - and never forget your towel.
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