supposed to be
It's been over a year. Everything was supposed to be better.
By now, I am supposed to be 100 lbs less.
I am supposed to be skinny, and in good health.
I am supposed to be able to walk for longer than 30 seconds without any kind of pain or breathing issues.
I am supposed to be able to fit into a size ten, at the very most.
I am supposed to have at the very least $1000 in a savings account.
I am supposed to be in a job where I'm happy, and I can travel, or at the very least earn enough money to travel.
I am supposed to be writing every day, halfway finished my novel, or at least finally finished that screenplay I started twelve years ago.
I am supposed to be on my own - with the husband - in our own place away from my parents.
I am supposed to be playing sports that I used to, the way that I used to, with love.
I am supposed to know at least three songs by heart on the guitar.
I am supposed to be able to be on the dance floor for longer than one song.
By August I am supposed to be pregnant, with a happy husband.
supposed to be....
Instead, I'm STILL at the same weight.
I still can't walk for longer than 30 seconds without some kind of pain.
I still am in lousy health.
I still can't fit into a size ten.
I'm still at zero in my savings account.
I'm still at a job I can't stand, doing more work than I'm paid for.
I still haven't written my novel, or finished my screenplay.
I still live with my parents.
I still can't play sports.
I still can't play guitar.
I still can't be on the dance floor for longer than one song.
By August, I still won't be pregnant, and won't have a husband.
I think I'll have that nervous breakdown I'm scheduled for.
Stay sane inside insanity ~ and never forget your towel.
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and pride
4 whispers:
Biggie hugs...don't put a timeline on it, just go small steps and it can still happen
It's alright!
Tackle your goals one at a time, instead of worrying about them all at once. Pick the most important, achieve it and move on to the next. You're a strong woman, and you can do it!
Looks to me like you tried to do too much. It could be that achieving just one thing on that list will help your mental attitude, and then lead you to one more thing on that list.
Why not go learn one song on the guitar right now? You can't learn 3 before you learn one, right?
Next paycheck, put $5 in the savings account. You can't get $1000 without the first $5.
Forget about 100lbs and a size 10. Just focus on eating healthier. Good health doesn't necessarily come from skinny. It comes from healthy habits. Healthy eating habits will help you drop weight. It will also help you gain energy to exercise.
Walk for 30 seconds and stop. Repeat. At some point, you'll walk for 35 seconds and then 40. You have to build healthy exercise habits carefully.
My point is, stop beating yourself up over what you haven't done. You can't get the last year back, so let it go. Start with small steps and don't focus on such a big picture. Focus on modifying your habits and celebrate small successes.
Nothing changes overnight. I believe in you. Now you need to believe in yourself.
I SEE YOU!
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